I am always hesitant to talk about anal/prostate play because of the homosexual stigma that goes along with it. So I'll state here that yes I have done some anal and prostate play out of curiosity and no I am mot gay or have any homo sexual feelings. Of course there is nothing wrong with being gay but for some reason being a straight man admiting to anal play feels like social suicide. I wish I could get around not and not feel like someone stole my masculinity or am somehow weaker because I put something up my butt.
So anyway with that out of the way I wanted to discuss some past and recent experiences with prostate stimulation. I first started thinking about prostate stimulation as maybe an alternative possible way for me to reach orgasm. Basically I was (and still am) desperate to try anything. At first I tried somethings around the house. I had my best luck with a tool with a small wooden handle. I was able to stimulate myself with that handle until I suddenly started to feel the build up associated with orgasm. It was like I had forgotten the feeling until that point and suddenly remember how it feels. The feeling started in my lower legs and started rising upward, also getting more intense. The rate at which it was increasing was much slower than when I had penis based orgasms and based on this I could somehow tell that if it continued it would be a much longer lasting and stronger orgasm than I had ever felt before. Sadly just as I came to the realisation of what was happening and started getting really excited I might actually feel an orgasm, the feeling faded away. Many successive attemps to repeat this all ended in failure.
Sometime after this and when I was old enough to be living alone I discovered the aneros online. This is a male "health device" and toy that claims to give men super orgasms through prostate massage. With nothing to lose I ordered one and tried it out. I used it on and off over several years with mixed results but no orgasm. Most sessions I would feel nothing at all. Once in a while I would get some feelings that were similar to the orgasm build up but they would always fade away. Other times I would have some physical reactions such as muscle spasms and shaking, and increased heart rate but no good feelings to go along. It was like I could sense the orgasm should be there but without ejaculation to let me know for sure. I continued with the aneros until one day my wife found it, thought it was weird that I secretly used it without her knowledge, and made me throw it out.
That brings me to my recent experience. With no aneros to satisfy my desperate curiosity, I decided to give one of my wifes vibrators a try (with a condom of course). I picked one that is very thin with a slightly larger egg shaped end. I first tried using the vibrate functions but that did not seem to do much for me. So instead I tried a similar tactic to the aneros and just tired to relax with it inside me. After maybe an hour of this and possibly falling in and out of sleep I felt the build up to the beginning of an orgasm. It started feeling really good and may have even gotten to the level of weak orgasm. However it felt like it should have kept getting stronger but it did not. It would actually fade away and cone back several times without ever reaching a climax. My best way to describe it would be if a normal orgasm is climbing a hill than jumping or rolling down the other side, this was climbing most of the way up, then turning around and climbing back down the same side. There was no real peak, no over the edge point or feeling of resolution. To also describe the intensity, if a normal orgasm is listening to music this was like listening to music under water. It was really good but also just a tease.
I will probably keep trying this but I fear my wife will catch me and,the secrecy will hurt our relationship. It unfortunate I don't feel like this is something I can share with her.
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