An explanation of my orgasm issues

In order to fully understand this post it is important to note the difference between ejaculation and orgasm.  While these two most commonly occur together in men it is possible to have one without the other.  You'll find references to orgasm without ejaculation if you search for male multiple orgasms.  Unfortunately as I have learned it is also possible to ejaculate without the accompanying feelings of orgasm.

From the few other men I have heard of having this problem it can be they have never experienced an orgasm or that they used to and cannot anymore.  Some can attribute it to medication, past trama, or other particular event.  For others like me it just kind of went away without any known reason and never came back.  Some can't reach orgasm or ejaculation but others like me ejaculate without the intense pleasure that normally comes with it.

What I used to feel:

I'm not sure when exactly the problem started for me but it was sometime in my late teens.  I first discovered masturbation at an early age, maybe 12.  At that time I was still developing and would reach orgasm with no ejaculation.  The orgasms were intense and pleasurable.  In fact I remember my very first one before I knew what and orgasm was.  I had learned what sex was and thought I would simulate it with my hand to see how it feels.  The feeling was so intense and took me by such surprise that I remember thinking if sex feels that intense I don't want to do it.  Lucky for me I tried again a few days later and learned to love it.

I think my orgasms at that time were normal.  I would get excited, feel the tension and slight buzzing in my crotch building.  My breath and heart rate would increase uncontrollably, and then the feeling would explode.  My whole body would tense up and I'd have involuntary spasms.  If I were to plot the intensity of the feelings on a chart with 1 being a normal day to day feeling and 10 being the most intense orgasm ever, it would look like this.

Ejaculation would occur sometime between reaching 5 and 8.  I would consider when I got to a 3 - 4 to be the point of no return, where no matter what, even I stopped all stimulation, I would continue on to ejaculation and orgasm.

What I feel now:

I can't remember an exact moment when I realized my orgasm was missing.  I do remember a few times as a teen, ejaculating before I orgasmed with the orgasm coming shortly after.  That freaked me out a bit but I never recall thinking hey I didn't orgasm that time.  As far as I know it just kind of fizzled away.  Now my sexual response looks more like this:

As I approach the point of no return I do feel some pleasurable feelings building (for this reason sex is still enjoyable).  However as I get close I don't feel the increase in heart rate and breathing I used to.  As I go over the edge the feeling just kind of fizzles out instead of going to a great peak like it used to.  I sometimes get a few spasms but it is more like when you are tickled in an uncomfortable way and it makes you jerk.

As far as I can remember it has been this way for me since I was 16 years old or younger.  I can remember when I was dating my first real girlfriend thinking to myself maybe I'll reach orgasm again when I finally have sex.  It was a few years later and a different girl before I lost my virginity but still no orgasm (sex is still great).

I've tried many different things over the years (the details of which I'll save for another post) all with no luck.  For anyone out there with the same issues or if you just want to learn more, try searching for anorgasmia and ejaculatory anhedonia.  Have thoughts or questions? Please leave comments.